I look into myself and what do I see? Darkness? Horror? Despair? I turn around and close my eyes to relive those past visions. Perhaps trying to find a way to turn it all around. I’ll go out and buy some bright lights and hang them on the hollow pillars and paint the walls with smiles and sunshine. I might even play some music for myself. I smile at the thought. I see my soul brightening up already, or maybe it is just an illusion.
What do I do now? Do I go back and check? Do I open the harried doors again? No! I shouldn’t do that! I cannot walk into my mind without notice like I own it. Or do I? If that were true, I wouldn’t feel like a stranger in there. Everything seemed so unfamiliar and elusive. I felt like an intruder. An intruder disliked by the inhabitants.
And what about my plans to decorate? What if they don’t like the music? The colours. Which ones should I pick? So as not to offend anybody. These entities I worry about, I don’t know anything about them.
I have walked in on their naked desires and hushed secrets a few times. But that doesn’t seem to give me an edge over them. I feel the pointy end of their heels in the hollow of my throat. Maybe the music was a bad idea all along. And they probably like the darkness as well. I cannot question the authority over a tiny moment of hope.
They will not allow it. And I’m not ready to fight them. Not today.
